This month, I brought in a good friend and mentor, Jonathan Warrey, to coach part of our team. I expected a good conversation.
What we got instead was a masterclass in leadership skills that build trust, momentum, and influence.
Early on, he dropped a line that immediately stuck with me:
It sounds simple. It’s not.
In leadership development, we talk often about executive presence, influence, and effective leadership communication. But one of the most underrated leadership skills is active listening — real curiosity that puts the other person at the center of the conversation.
And I see the opposite play out constantly.
The Trap Leaders Fall Into
In sales, in leadership, in client work — people rush to prove:
- What they’re good at
- Why they’re right
- How smart they are
- Why their approach is the best
And honestly? It’s a huge turnoff.
I’ve spent my entire career being genuinely curious. Not performative curiosity — real curiosity.
Over time, I’ve learned something unexpected:
I can get deeply curious about almost anything.
We work with clients in centrifuge manufacturing, heat plate exchangers, technology, banking — everything in between. And the pattern is always the same: I want to know all of it.
I’m the (slightly annoying) one on discovery calls asking question after question — not to fill space or sound smart, but because I genuinely want to understand.
Every pain point.
Every constraint.
The real downstream impact of the problem they’re trying to solve.
That curiosity isn’t a tactic. It’s foundational to leadership influence.
Curiosity in Leadership Is a Discipline
Active listening in leadership isn’t passive. It’s disciplined.
Performative curiosity — asking questions just to steer the conversation or check a box — is obvious. And honestly? It’s gross.
Real curiosity shows up differently.
It’s patient.
It’s uncomfortable at times.
It’s in service of the other person — not your own expertise.
Jonathan gave us questioning strategies that force you to stop selling and start understanding.
And that’s where people get it wrong. They label this as “sales.”
I don’t see it that way at all.
This is about leadership.
It’s about partnership.
It’s about doing the work to truly understand who you’re talking to.
That’s effective leadership communication.
Golden Silence: The Leadership Skill Most People Avoid
Another concept he introduced that I loved was Golden Silence.
There’s real magic there.
Ask an outstandingly good question — one that actually makes someone think.
Then stop talking.
Even when it’s uncomfortable.
Especially when it’s uncomfortable.
As Jonathan put it, sometimes when you keep talking, you “buy it back.” You sold it… then kept talking… and undid the moment.
One practical takeaway I loved: literally write reminders into your meetings and pitches, telling yourself when to be silent.
Pay attention to whether you ask a question and immediately fill the space — or whether you let the discomfort do its work.
That silence is where trust builds.
That silence is where truth surfaces.
That silence is where real leadership influence happens.
Asking Better Questions Builds Trust
He also shared a subtle but powerful repositioning move:
Instead of asking, “Do you see the value?”
Try asking:
“What’s been valuable — and what hasn’t?”
One invites politeness.
The other invites truth.
Asking better questions is one of the most overlooked leadership skills. It signals confidence, not insecurity. It shows you care about the outcome — not your ego.
And in leadership development, that distinction matters.
Think Like an Owner, Not an Operator
Finally, coming from a seasoned executive, Jonathan pushed us on something we all need to get better at: financial literacy.
The C-suite isn’t thinking about:
- Marketing leads
- Campaign clicks
- Tactical performance
They’re thinking about:
- Revenue
- Gross profit
- Net income
- Contribution margin
- Customer satisfaction
They’re thinking like owners.
Strong executive leadership requires understanding how your work impacts the full business — not just your functional lane.
Curiosity shouldn’t stop at people. It should extend to the numbers.
And honestly? We should all think that way.
The Strongest Leaders Are the Most Curious
This session was a reminder that the most powerful leaders aren’t the loudest, flashiest, or most impressive in the room.
They don’t dominate conversations to prove executive presence.
They build influence through curiosity.
They build trust through active listening.
They build momentum by asking better questions.
They are interested.
And that’s what makes them interesting.